crazyforms

The wackiest new craze

A brief guide to a talk show

Tonight on Jerry Springer, Donahue, Ricky Lake, Geraldo, Montel Oprah, transvestite hookers cross-dressing truck drivers lesbian exhibitionist nurses inbred trailer trash people who can't keep their clothes on a bunch of people with serious mental problems talk about their inability to keep their clothes on their watersports fetish how they really, really love their dogs why their husband left them for their best friend's ex-boyfriend that *bleep* man of theirs and his *bleep* *bleep* *bleep* something not nearly weird enough, and the host ignores them while the audience screams something incoherent booooooooooooo! the host's name *bleep* *bleep* *bleep* absolutely nothing of interest and viewers wonder what society is coming to. are satisified to know that there are more dysfunctional families than theirs. reach for their sick bucket. switch off the TV. join in and shout along.

Meanwhile, as the host ends with a monologue saying "y'know, in this world we must learn to live with each other," "y'know, sometimes life comes up with lemons..." "y'know, we are all different, yet we are all human," something to make us forget how the previous 45 minutes was a freakshow-hatefest, the producers count the profits. count the profits. count the profits. take a holiday in Fiji and count the profits.